How To Use NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) To Be Happier – by Karen Salmansohn, founder of The Never Again Program:
Here’s a “Weird Truth.” When you’re going through a challenging time, many of the compassionate things people say to you to help you can accidentally wind up hurting your healing process.
“I’m so sorry!”
“You must be in so much pain!”
“How terrible for you that this awful thing happened!”
Boris Cyrulnik, a famed French ethologist, wrote about this “Weird Truth” in a report about his recovering trauma patients.
He noticed that if he expressed too much pity or horror to one of his trauma patients, he could accidentally escalate their pain.
His recommendation instead? Tell people going through a tough time: “You are strong.” Cyrulnik believes that by reminding someone how strong they are, you can actually help to make them become more strong!
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